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Ruth Arnott

I am a recovering people pleaser and a sensitive soul. I have been where you are and know how empty, lonely, frustrated and confused you feel when you are struggling to make progress because of your sensitivity or, you are in or have just left a toxic relationship.

When I came out of my last relationship with someone who was highly narcissistic, I said never again! This wasn’t the first time that I had experienced abuse within a relationship. I’d had toxic relationships previously with womanisers, drug addicts, coercive controllers and perpetrators of physical violence, one even burned my house down.

 

 

I thought if I tried hard enough, my generous and compassionate nature would rub off and get through to them. But it was never enough, I was living in a purgatory of feeling unworthy, unlovable and not enough. This caused deep shame that I hid under a veil of niceness and agreeableness for years. Why did I always choose abusers; people who felt entitled to take advantage of my accommodating and caring nature, live off my hard work and treat me with a lack of appreciation and respect?

I was successful in other areas of my life but in love I was a disaster.

 

Initially it helped to have my experience validated by learning about malignant narcissism and other dark personalities, I had been emotionally, physically and financially abused. However, in time, I realised that the common theme between these relationships wasn't the abusers, it was me. If I wanted to have a more fulfilling life and better relationships, I had to stop researching the traits of my ex-partners and start finding out who I was being.

Over the last few years, I have completed a deep dive into myself. I have read tons of self-development books, invested in therapy and other healing modalities, qualified as a coach and deepened my practice with ongoing coaching and leadership training from some of the best coaches in the world.

I have been removing what was not mine to hold and discovering parts of me that I had forgotten, disowned or was hiding from others. I've also let go of a whole heap of shame. As a result of this, I've discovered that I have access to a deep well of self-love, worth and compassion and know how to use my sensitivity as a superpower. I have a tender heart and when I lead with it, I tap into the source of my power.

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I now support people like me to not just recover or heal from narcissistic abuse or toxic relationships, but to use the experience as a catalyst to forge a new pathway in life. If you let me guide you along this pathway with the power of transformational coaching, you can learn to become the person you were always meant to be and create a life that you love. The path is paved with your possibility, illuminated by your inner being and ends up at a destination that previously you could only visit in your dreams. It may not always seem easy, but it is worth it. I will support you every step of the way, I'll help you see and overcome the obstacles that previously blocked your path and light the way when it gets dark and you can't see where you are going.

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Each step along this path will fill you with reverence for the journey you've already been on. You will learn to honour your previous experiences; they are the signposts and markers towards the fully expressed and powerful person that you can become. A person who holds themselves in high regard whilst retaining compassion and kindness for others. A person that stays open without a need to protect themselves from certain types of people.

You will develop self-love, grow strong boundaries and know that you will never go through such a soul crushing experience again.

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