I see deep love as ultimately wanting the best for someone, not in a champagne and diamonds way more of a wanting them to thrive, be happy and doing what I can to help them way.
Think about your relationship with a very young child when you read this.
They may fall down and keep falling down; you still want the best for them. You are there to help pick them up, soothe them and help them learn so that they can try something different. When they are ready you let them go on to fall all over again.
When they are upset, angry or even obnoxious, you want the best for them. You ask they what they what the matter is, what so they want and then you work out and give them what they really need (which may not be what they want).
They may deny their feelings particularly embarrassment, shame or anger. You still want the best for them. You ask them about their feelings and let them know that it’s all right to have them, even the rough ones.
They may pretend that everything is all right when it isn’t; you still want the best for them and are ready to listen when they open and want to talk.
You see all their wonderful potential and get frustrated when they can’t see it, or they get scared. You still want the best for them and gently help them to keep taking the small steps towards what it is they want.
They may forget that you want the best for them and hurt you or, ignore you and freeze you out. You still want the best for them and are waiting with open arms when they are ready to reconnect.
Now read it again and think about your relationship with yourself, imagine yourself as that small child.
When someone tells us that we just need to love ourselves more it can be a difficult concept to implement or even grasp.
Try viewing self-love as treating yourself in the same way that you would a small child. Wanting the best for you, forgiving and being there for yourself no matter what you have done or how you have behaved.
When I remember to do this, life becomes gentler and easier, let me know how it works for you?